The CRAZY adventures of Emmett and Nessie
by Twilight4eva1121047
Summary: Nessie is stuck at home for a week with Emmett. WWhat will happen when you have a crazy uncle, that is a vampire uncle. I suck at summarrys good story
1. ughhhhh!

My Mom and Dad were stupid enough to leave me home with my Uncle Emmett all week while they got to go have fun in Vegas. Ughh sometimes they disgust me. If you're wondering, My Auntie Alice and Auntie Rosalie went on a shopping spree in New York and decided to drag Uncle Jasper along with them. My Grandpa Carlisle went on some big trip for his work and Grandma Esme just _had_ to go with him. Seriously Emmett is really messed up. I don't know how Auntie Rosalie puts up with him!

"Nessie, come here!" Emmett called from the backyard. I groaned and dragged myself outside.

BAM! Emmett started squirting me with a water gun

"STOP!!!!!!!! Emmett cut it out you retard!" I screamed

"Someone can't take a joke" He said trying to hard not to laugh. He had soaked my favorite pink shirt with the Jonas Brothers on it and my silk blue skirt. My I-pod that my daddy gave me last year for Christmas was soaked as well as my clothes.

I went upstairs to change. When I came down Emmett had in, his hand a water balloon. Luckily, I was prepared. I had put on some crappy clothes and swimming goggles. He chucked it at me hard enough to send me toppling over. The balloon was full of paint! I stormed off into the kitchen. Surprisingly, Emmett didn't follow. I snuck around the other side and grabbed the bucket of balloons. I hauled the balloons at Emmett with all my might, including the bucket. He groaned and went outside. I decided to tag along to make sure he didn't do anything that could burn the house down or kill me or something. Before I even got to the side door there was a **HUGE** water slide. Emmett looked at me then back at the slide. I ran and got my bathing suit on.


	2. Oh boy

I got my bathing suit on and ran outside. Emmett was no where in sight. I climbed the blow up slide and right as I was about to go down… Emmett jumped in front and slid down the slide. It started deflating right under me.

"Emmett! Look what you did! Since _you _popped the slide, _you _get the treat of taking me to a water park."

"Fine by me!" Emmett was already running towards his Jeep.

We got to the water park and before we even walked in the gate, the HUGEST water slide ever was right in clear view. We hurried to get our wristbands and ran in. We got in the long line and after 10 minutes Emmett started pushing through the line. I followed him until we were at the front of the line. Some guy, who was maybe 30 or 40, started complaining to the guy at the top who was clearly not paying attention to him.

"Hey, buddy, watch it, we were here first!" The complainer said to Emmett. Emmett turned around and hovered of the guy. He backed down and said "y-y-yet again y-y-you should g-g-go f-f-first". Emmett smiled and turned to go down the slide.

"Ahem, ladies first" I commented. He groaned and let me through. Suddenly I was sliding down the huge slide woo hoo-ing and oh yea-ing. I had the time of my life! I splashed down into the water with Emmett right behind me.

Some lady at the bar who's name tag said Natasha started talking. "Lady's and gentlemen, please turn your attention over here. Today is Fork oaks water park's 7th annual swim-athon competition…


	3. Help!

**Sorry guys I forgot to say this is Renesmee's POV**

"Our first event is the diving competition. All willing participants please come up to the diving boards." She said into the microphone. Emmett ran to be the first in line.

"Sir, what's your name?" Natasha asked Emmett.

"Captain Emmetta Champion Cullenbobingo" Emmett said playfully.

" Interesting name Captain Cullenbobingo?" She said confused. I hit my forehead. Emmett climbed the ladder to the tall diving board laughing. He jumped about 45 feet above the pool, did a few flips, and some twirls then ended with a general dive. Everyone's jaw dropped to the ground.

"Next" was all Natasha could murmur.

* * *

The Next event was the swimming race. Oh boy. Emmet jumped into a swimming lane splashing out a TON of water.

"On your mark, get set, GO!"

Emmett zoomed to the end of the pool and looked at his nails like he was waiting. I thought about just walking over there and telling him that we were leaving but my family is so strict about him and never lets him do anything fun. Why not let him for once.

"show off" Natasha muttered. I scowled at her. "The next event is Water aerobics!"

"I am not competing in that old lady water dance crap" Emmett snarled. The event passed and it was time for the last event. "Ok our next event is who can hold their breath for the longest. Captain Cullenbobingo will NOT be competing in this event!"

Emmett walked over to her. "What did you just say to me!?" he looked down at her. She was terrified.

"Never mind everybody apparently he WILL be competing." She squealed.

Emmett jumped in the pool again.

"On your mark, get set, GO!" Natasha yelled into the microphone. Emmett dunked down into the water 10 seconds later the first guy popped up gasping for air. It had been 10 minutes. Emmett noticed everyone was up and staring at him. He popped up acting like he was having a seizure. I broke out laughing.

"impossible" Natasha whispered to herself.

"This years winner is Captain Cullenbobingo." She handed him the huge trophy without another word. Emmett snatched the trophy and I pulled him out of the water park. He was laughing soooo hard.


	4. Disaster

Emmett set the trophy on his dresser and ran back down stairs.

"Thanks" He said quietly

"for what" I sounded like Esme

"Letting me have fun" He trailed off. Finally some manners!

He ran outside. I went into my parents room and got my laptop. As soon as I logged onto clubpenguin… BOOM!!!!! The roof broke. I sprinted downstairs. Emmett was laying on the floor with drywall and shingles around him. A big fat piece of plaster landed on his head.

"EMMETT!!!!!!!!" as I had been running over a big sharp piece had landed on my arm and sliced it opened. Then a heavier one landed an the bone cracked.

I imediatley dialed my dad's number, I was sick of emmett!

"Hi Darling" Daddy said

"Emmett broke the roof along with my arm and Esme's special vase." I walked outside into the garage. "AND YOUR VOLVO!" I said crying.

"Oh my gosh! Honey, we will be there as soon as we can! Give the phone to your Uncle"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! Emmett said and ran. I hid behind the house and he slowed down. I shoved the phone to his head and help it there with my good arm. My mommy's car engine cut and in two seconds I was in it. We were at the hospital. Carlisle was there. Mom rushed me to him while dad cheked in. They were both quickly by my side. Carlisle picked on the bits of plaster with his forceps. Silent tears rolled down my face.

"My poor baby" Mom whispered, squeezing my hand.

"Momma it hurts so bad" I squealed quietly

" I know sweetie, I know" And with that she kissed my forehead

"Hurry up and numb it Carlisle" Dad growled

"Done" Carlisle exhaled. It didn't hurt anymore.

"What color cast do you want Renesmee?" Carlisle cooed

"Can I have hot pink?" I asked.

"Of course" Carlisle laughed gently at my politness. When the cast was one we went home. Alice and Rosalie and Jasper and Esme were there. Rose and Esme were crying and Emmett was no where in sight.

"He ran away didn't he" I asked. Here came the tears again. Esme nodded. I turned and burried my face into My Daddy's stomach.

"He was so abnoxious and dangerous and life threatning to me, but he was still fun and stuff. He was like, like, like the big brother I never had." _And never really wanted. _I added in my thoughts. Dad looked at me. "My bad" I said. Suddenly everyones expression was puzzled.

"Hello, mind reader" I pointed at dad. The sadness was back now.

Emmett burst through the door. "I am sorry Nessie, and I am sorry Edward and Bella! I just wanted to have some fun. I MISSED YOU ROSE!" Emmett whined. He was suddenly crushed in a big group hug.

**Ok the story is not over cuz it is the adventureS of Emmett and nessie that adeventure is over though. Next one has Jasper in it.**


	5. Are you kidding me!

**The Latin words I use are real I looked them up on the internet. And I don't know if there is a McDonalds in forks but I couldn't remember the name of the diner.**

I can't believe it. My parents left me with Emmett again! Well there is one change, they left Jasper too. I think I'll stay with _him_ this time. He was on the couch reading his Latin dictionary while Emmett was outside.

"Hey Jasper"

"Hello"

"What are you doing?"

"Reading"

"Oh. What does sinjulee mean?"

"It's means Single."

"Oh. Well what does genero mean?'

"Create"

"Ok. Well what does Procella mean?"

"Renesmee, don't you have something better to do for instance go play with Emmett?"

A sudden wave of disinterest crossed me.

"Yea probably. This is boring now anyway."

I went and got the phone and called Jacob to see if he wanted to play with me.

Ringgggggg ringggg

"Hi Nessie!"

"Hi Jake. Do you wanna come play with me?"

"Jake and Nessie sittin' in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g! First comes love then comes marri-" Emmett said from a different phone.

"Emmett!" He hung up I could here him laughing.

"Sorry do you wanna play?"

"Sure! I'll be right over."

I sat and waited the doorbell rang. I jumped up to get it.

"Hi Ja- oops" it was just a solicitor.

"Sorry I thought you were someone else." Jake appeared behind him. He quickly ran into the forest to become human.

"Is your mom or dad home sweetie" the guy said. I started to giggle he sounded like goofy.

"Jasper!!!!!" I laughed.

He came to the door.

"Do you want a yard job sir?"

"No thank you" He started to laugh to. The guy left and we started laughing. Jake appeared and we went in the back to set up horseshoes.

"I Call being purple!" I yelled.

"RAWRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!" Emmett jumped out of the bushes.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I jumped and fell. Jake came over quickly and helped me up.

"ughhhhhhhh!" I groaned. Emmett walked away.

We started playing and then I got hungry. Oh how I wished daddy was here to make me some food. He makes the best blueberry pancakes ever.

"Jasper I'm hungry!" I yelled

"Then get some food" He huffed

"There's nothing to eat." I whined. Jake went home and I was bored again. Emmett walked in.

"I'll drive you somewhere. Jeepy needs some exercise." He said

I shook my head "You're so weird" I walked out and Emmett followed. We climbed into his jeep.

"So where to Nessie?" Emmett asked

"McDonalds please" I said politely.

We got to the drive thru and Emmett started to order.

"Uh Yea I'll have to taco Supremes no lettuce-"

"Sir this is McDonalds not Taco bell"

"In that case I'll add a side of the twisty cinnamon things"

"Is this supposed to be a joke?" The girl complained

"No. I told you lady, I just want 2 Taco Supremes no lettuce and volcano nachos. Jeez!"

"Sir…"

"Sorry he is just loosing his memory ha ha I'll have chicken selects, small fries, and a coke" I said. We pulled up to the window. The girl gave us our food.

"$15.54 is your total" She beamed. Obviously because she thought Emmett was gorgeous. "Here's your food. PLEASE come again" We drove away. I grabbed my food.

"Emmett you're so stupid you know that?" I said with a mouth full of fries.

"Yup. So I've been told" He looked at the road and turned onto a street I wasn't familiar with.

"Emmett, where are we going?" I asked

"Let's just say… we taking a short cut." He replied with a devious smile on his face. We pulled up to an old house with music and tons of people talking.

"What's so special about this?" I asked

"Just stay here. I will be right back." Emmett said. Then he got out of the car. It was taking him forever so I got out of the car and walked in. It was a bar. Emmett was Sitting with a hole bunch a guys. He was smoking! He also seemed like he was high. I didn't know Vampires could get high. I ran out and got my cell phone.

"Hello"

"Jasper!! I need you to come pick me up."

"Where are you'

"At some bar down Phosberry road"

"Okay I will be there as soon as I can"

**Hey guys, I need a good idea for the next chapter. **


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